Travelodge Hotels versus Hipster Hotels

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Value favourite Travelodge Hotels promises to be “refreshingly simple" so how does it stack up against its natural enemy, the hipster hotel.

1. Convenient locations

Travelodge Hotels: 17 locations in Australia (and New Zealand) in places you actually need a hotel, like in Melbourne’s Southbank, which is walking distance to Crown Casino and Entertainment Complex, and downtown Sydney, close to Museum Station and the cafe-rich inner city suburbs of Surry Hills, Darlinghurst and Paddington.

 

Hipster hotel: In a laneway, off another laneway, in the coolest part of town which is nowhere near where you actually want to go.

2. A breakfast that genuinely breaks the fast

Travelodge Hotels: A hearty breakfast with plenty of options, hot and cold, such as bacon, sausages, roma tomatoes, eggs; plus a range of fruit, cereal, yoghurt and pastries. In true buffet style, it’s all you can eat. Options range from $8 to $22.

 

Hipster hotel: Kale smoothie served in a mason jar, foraged kimchi breakfast tacos and a decaf cold brew coffee – served from a food truck somewhere vaguely nearby.

3. Cook your own?

Travelodge Hotels: You don’t need to eat out every single night. Travelodge Hotels’ kitchenette has everything you need – a microwave, kettle, mini-fridge, even a kitchen sink – without going too MasterChef on you.

 

Hipster hotel: You want a kitchen in your room? Where would we put the post-modern sculptures?

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4. Check out the checkout time

Travelodge Hotels: Sleep in! Check out time is 11am.

 

Hipster hotel: We are early adopters so we choose to throw you out at 10am.

5. Extras, extras

Travelodge Hotels: Keepin’ it simple and uncluttered with complimentary tea, coffee and useful utensils in the kitchenette and Travelodge-Hotels-exclusive shampoo, conditioner, body wash and lotions in the bathroom. For anything else, reception will do their level best for you.

 

Hipster hotel: High-end soap, single-origin boutique teas, the fluffiest robes and slippers money can buy plus a mini-bar stocked with exorbitantly priced liqueurs. Why does the room cost so much again?

6. Shower off, not show off

Travelodge Hotels: A shower that just leaves you feeling refreshed (and wet).

 

Hipster hotel: Six body-massage jets that flood the bathroom floor and taps that you need a manual to use.

7. Wi-Fi

Travelodge Hotels: Free Wi-Fi for the length of your stay with reasonably priced packages for the serious data-eating internet addicts.

 

Hipster hotel: $20 a day sounds about right, whether you use a little or a lot. Probably cheaper to use your mobile data!

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8. Sleepy deals

Travelodge Hotels: Book your stay on Tuesday and receive bonus goodies such as 2-for-1 breakfast, unlimited free Wi-Fi or late check-out.

 

Hipster hotel: How can we pay for the thread count if we give you a discount?

9. The Bed

Travelodge Hotels: Makes its own beds (literally), designed to support, with non-allergenic pillows and duvets.

 

Hipster hotel: Sometimes you just don’t need to sleep on a mattress filled with a curious mix of pure cotton, wool, mohair and horsetail hair.

10. Simple touches

Travelodge Hotels: Artworks that reflect the local area plus some nifty designed new pillows and other small touches that make the rooms down-to-earth and refreshingly comfortable.

 

Hipster hotel: There is no such thing as simple.

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This luxe trawler tour is redefining Victoria’s seafood experience

    Chloe Cann Chloe Cann
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    Victoria’s ‘mussel capital’ is the source of exceptional shellfish used by top chefs far and wide. Step aboard a beautifully refurbished trawler to see how these plump and juicy bivalves are sustainably cultivated.

    A curtain is slowly winched from the placid, teal waters just off Portarlington, like a floating garland beside our boat. The ropes heave with blue mussels, the star attraction of our tour. But as we reach to pluck our own, it’s quickly clear they’re not alone; a mass of weird and wonderful creatures has colonised the ropes, turning them into a living tapestry. ‘Fairy’ oysters, jelly-like sea squirts, and tiny, wriggling skeleton shrimp all inhabit this underwater ecosystem.

    We prize our bivalve bounty from the ropes, and minutes later the mussels arrive split on a platter. The plump orange morsels are served raw, ready to be spritzed with wedges of lemon and a lick of chilli as we gaze out over the bay. They’re briny, tender and faintly sweet. “This wasn’t originally part of the tour,” explains Connie Trathen, who doubles as the boat’s cook, deckhand and guide. “But a chef [who came onboard] wanted to taste the mussels raw first, and it’s now become one of the key features.”

    A humble trawler turned Hamptons-style dreamboat

    inspecting bivalve bounty from the ropes
    Inspecting the bounty. (Image: Visit Victoria/Hannyn Shiggins)

    It’s a crisp, calm winter’s day, and the sun is pouring down upon Valerie, a restored Huon pine workhorse that was first launched in January 1980. In a previous life she trawled the turbulent Bass Strait. These days she takes jaunts into Port Phillip Bay under the helm of Lance Wiffen, a fourth-generation Bellarine farmer, and the owner of Portarlington Mussel Tours. While Lance has been involved in the fishing industry for 30-plus years, the company’s tour boat only debuted in 2023.

    holding Portarlington mussels
    See how these plump and juicy bivalves are sustainably cultivated.

    It took more than three years to transform the former shark trawler into a dreamy, Hamptons-esque vessel, with little expense spared. Think muted green suede banquettes, white-washed walls, Breton-striped bench cushions, hardwood tables, bouquets of homegrown dahlias, and woollen blankets sourced from Waverley Mills, Australia’s oldest working textile mill. It’s intimate, too, welcoming 12 guests at most. And yet there’s nothing pretentious about the experience – just warm, down-to-earth Aussie hospitality.

    As we cruise out, we crack open a bottle of local bubbles and nibble on the most beautifully curated cheese platter, adorned with seashells and grey saltbush picked from the water’s edge that very morning. Australasian gannets soar overhead, and I’m told it’s not uncommon for guests to spot the odd seal, pod of dolphins, or even the occasional little penguin.

    The sustainable secret behind Victoria’s best mussels

    blue mussels off Portarlington
    Blue mussels sourced just off Portarlington.

    Connie and Lance both extol the virtues of mussels. They’re delicious. A lean source of protein and packed with omega-3 fatty acids, vitamin B12, iron, selenium, and zinc. They’re cooked in a flash (Connie steams our fresh harvest with cider and onion jam). And they’re also widely regarded as one of the most sustainable foods in the world.

    Portarlington mussels with lemon and chilli
    Mussels served with lemon and chilli.

    “Aquaculture is [often] seen as destructive, so a lot of our guests are really surprised about how environmentally friendly and sustainable our industry is,” Lance says. “[Our mussels] would filter 1.4 billion litres of water a day,” he adds, explaining how mussels remove excess nitrogen and phosphorus from the water. “And through biomineralisation, we lock carbon into mussel shells.”

    a hand holding a Portarlington mussel
    Mussels are a sustainable food.

    Despite their glowing list of accolades, these molluscs have long been seen as the oysters’ poorer cousins. “It was a really slow start,” explains Lance, who says that in the early days of his career, “you could not sell mussels in Victoria”.

    But word has slowly caught on. Chefs as globally acclaimed as Attica’s Ben Shewry and even René Redzepi of Noma, Denmark, have travelled to these very waters just to try the shellfish at the source, sharing only the highest praise, and using Lance’s mussels in their restaurants.

    guests sampling Portarlington mussels onboard
    Sampling the goods onboard. (Image: Visit Victoria/Hannyn Shiggins)

    According to Lance there’s one obvious reason why the cool depths of Portarlington outshine other locations for mussel farming. “The water quality is second to none,” he says, noting how other regions are frequently rocked by harvest closures due to poor water quality. “We grow, without a doubt, some of the best shellfish in the world.” And with Lance’s bold claims backed up by some of the industry’s greatest names, perhaps it won’t be much longer until more Aussies uncover the appeal of Portarlington’s mussels.