Travelling with a group of people who all make vastly different amounts of money? This is how to stay friends afterwards.

A strange thing happens when you’re lucky enough to have good friends who have been in your life for decades. When you met, in my case in high school – and for many others in university – there was no group trip wage gap because none of you had any money. You’re all squeezing in shifts at a cafe, dodgy clothing store or underground bar between exams just to afford a tiny bedroom in a sharehouse that smells and looks like mould.

At this stage of life, if you plan a holiday, everyone is on the same page: the cheapest hostel bed possible, and obviously, we load up on the free continental breakfast before sneaking some more out in napkins so we can have it for lunch as well.

But now, decades later, we don’t have jobs, we have professions. And like any good rom-com featuring a group of friends, those professions are vastly different: from travel journalist to archaeologist to lawyer to digital commerce. That also means the salary glass ceiling is vastly different, sometimes by as much as $100k or more.

This is an issue that is so delicate in some circles that it can literally end friendships, especially when planning a holiday. Happily, it’s something my friends and I are able to navigate really well, so I thought I’d share our top learnings.

1. Everyone is different, and that’s ok

Money has absolutely nothing to do with personality. It’s not an indication of how hard anyone works, or how smart anyone is, or anything else. In fact, all my friends are hard workers who have hustled in their industries to gain success. But the bottom line is that different industries simply have more or less money to play with.

Society has weird hangups around money, and a shame around not being able to afford something, but that’s silly. Whether you’re the group’s high-earner or low-earner, forget the shame and comparison before you even think about planning a group trip.

2. Set budgets before you go, and share them

Now that you’ve done step one, work out your budget. Once you have, share it with the group before any planning happens. And don’t assume anyone else’s budget, you may not know what other savings goals or payments their salary is being allocated to besides travel.

3. Decide the aim of the trip

This might sound silly, but a group trip can be about many things. Maybe it’s a group reunion or quality time to make new memories with old friends. Or maybe it’s a bucket list trip you’ve all been talking about for years. These trips are going to have vastly different outcomes in how they’re put together.

If the point is simply to spend time together, book a holiday rental that everyone can afford to split, and cook your meals at home. Throw in a few board games and a good hike or beach trip, and you’re sorted.

However, if it’s a bucket list trip, then it gets a bit more complicated.

4. Be prepared to split up

Whether there’s a wage gap in the group or not, this is my number one group travel rule. Everyone places importance on different aspects of travel. Some would spend their final pennies on an incredible meal, while others would eat buttered bread just to afford a high-end experience of their dreams. Add children to the mix, and it all gets even more complicated.

Talk about this before you go, share your non-negotiables, and be ready to plan that time apart as well as when you’ll all come back together to share your experiences. If this is a bucket list trip, everyone deserves to do it their way. And if your non-negotiables happen to overlap, even better.

5. Use a money tracking app

Even friends with the best intentions sometimes forget how much they owe someone. Save yourself the stress and make everyone download an app like Splitwise. If you put everything in there, the app will do the hard work for you at the end of the trip, and let you know who owes what.

6. Get the money up front

Having said that, big purchases that are made ahead of time, like accommodation or that splurge dinner on your final night, make everyone transfer their portion of the payment to the booker before it’s booked.

And, for goodness’ sake, be kind and don’t leave all the hard work to the organised friend. Everyone is going on the trip, so everyone should help plan and book.

Group trips can be rowdy. Here’s how to keep everyone in check and get the most from you hotel staff.